I spent 25 years learning how words land. Now I use that knowledge to help couples talk to each other.
Tammy Laber Coaching and Counselling is a Toronto counselling practice run by Tammy Laber, a Registered Psychotherapist with the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario, registration number 002549, licensed for independent practice. The practice specializes in marriage and couples counselling, and also covers premarital, separation, post-divorce, relationship, anger management, ADHD, and career counselling for adults across Ontario. Tammy has worked with counselling clients since 2009 and completed her counselling graduate degree in 2012, after roughly 25 years as a professional writer and advertising copywriter. She practises from 36 Dingwall Avenue in Danforth Village, Toronto, and online by Zoom across Ontario. Sessions are 60 minutes at $180.
Text is the quickest way to reach me. I do not answer the phone during sessions.
Registered Psychotherapist, licensed for independent practice
Graduate counselling degree
completed 2012
Professional writer, copywriter and communications consultant
In person in Toronto or online
across Ontario
Quoted in
I have sat in the other chair.
Tammy went to couples counselling in her own marriage. It did not save the marriage. She still thinks it was helpful, and that belief shapes how she runs a session.
About ten years into my own marriage, my husband and I went to couples counselling. We eventually divorced, after around twenty years together. I still think those sessions were worth every minute.
They helped us understand ourselves and understand what was actually happening between us. When the marriage did end, we were able to separate without being consumed by bitterness. We are on friendly terms to this day.
I do not measure the value of this work only by whether a marriage survives.
Sometimes couples counselling saves a marriage, and that is what I strive to do. But sometimes it helps two people understand themselves, grow, make a clear decision and treat each other decently on the way through. Both of those are worth doing, and I have seen both.
It means that when you tell me what is happening in your house, you are not describing something I have only read about.
It is also why I push parents to protect their marriage rather than pour everything into the children. A strong marriage is one of the best things you can hand a child. They are usually better served by two parents who take an evening out together than by two parents who are present every night and quietly at war.
If you call me, I am going to work hard for you. I am also not going to sugarcoat everything. That is not my brand.
Psychotherapy is my second career. The first one was entirely about language.
MA in Journalism, then 25 years as an advertising copywriter running her own firm. She retrained as a psychotherapist in her forties, and the two careers turn out to be remarkably similar.
When I was starting out I could not get into a Toronto agency, because I did not know anybody. I bought a stack of back issues of Marketing magazine, worked out who the creative directors were, and phoned them asking for fifteen minutes, including at agencies that had already filled the job. One of them hired me.
I tell clients the same thing now. If you ask you might get and you might not, but if you do not ask, I guarantee you will not get.
The piece I am proudest of from those years is a 25-page brochure for the Royal Bank explaining mortgages. Amortization, terms, all the things that frighten people about the largest debt they will ever take on. We illustrated it with cartoons, which nobody was doing with financial material then, and it won a gold award.
Take something complicated and frightening, and put it into words an ordinary person can actually use.
That is what the brochure taught me, and it is still the job. By the late 2000s I was doing less writing and more coaching, and when the financial crisis took the advertising budgets with it, I looked hard at what I was actually good at. The answer was people. A psychologist I worked with warned me Ontario was about to regulate the profession, so in my forties I went back to school, borrowed against my RRSPs, and kept working so I would not go broke.
First career · Words
Twenty five years spent working out how to make people understand things.
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Conferred October 1982
Bachelor of Arts, Honours. Drama and Communication Studies
University of Windsor. Paid her own way through, including a summer selling encyclopedias door to door.
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Conferred October 1984
Master of Arts, Journalism
The University of Western Ontario, now Western University. Thesis on the future of publishing. The broadcast training is why she has always been comfortable in front of a camera.
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1983 to 1990
Into advertising, the hard way
Reporter and photographer, then publicist and editor, then copywriter and senior copywriter at Toronto agencies including Gingko, BFS, Taylor-Tarpay and FCB Direct.
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1988
Certified Advertising Agency Practitioner
Institute of Canadian Advertising, after a three-year programme in advertising fundamentals, marketing finance, and advertising and agency management.
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1991 onward
Write Marketing, her own firm
Financial, technology and fundraising writing, including the award-winning Royal Bank mortgage brochure and a decade with the Kidney Foundation of Canada. Vice president of The Creative Guild, a director of the Women’s Advertising Club of Toronto, and a member of the Board of Trade of Metropolitan Toronto and the Direct Marketing Association of Toronto.
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Late 2000s
From marketing companies to coaching people
Résumés, job searches, cold outreach and rehearsing the conversations clients were dreading. The bridge into counselling, though she did not think of it that way at the time.
Second career · People
The same skill, pointed at the conversations that matter most.
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2009
First paid counselling clients
Before Ontario regulated the profession, and before she had the credential she knew was coming.
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2010
The decision to change careers
Made in her forties, after two decades running her own business. Financed by working as a psychometrist while attending school full-time.
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2012
Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology
Yorkville University, conferred 25 June 2012, in a programme recognized by the College for registration. Completed with a 3.8 grade point average.
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2015
Registered with the College from its first year
Registered with the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario on 14 April 2015, the month it opened, and in good standing ever since.
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Today
Independent practice in Danforth Village
Licensed for independent practice after completing the required supervision. Marriage and couples counselling, in person and online across Ontario.
The same thought can be said in a way that gets heard, or in a way that starts a fight.
It’s how you say it, not what you say. Her signature move: she stops you mid-sentence and hands back the same point, reworded so your partner can actually hear it.
Twenty-five years of writing taught me the thought is rarely the problem. The wording is. Here is a real example, invented on the spot so no couple is recognisable in it.
What gets said
I am so frustrated having to do everything. You do not do your share of the housework, you do not do your share of the childcare. I did not know I was going to be a single mother with a better salary coming in.
What I would offer instead
I have noticed that lately, I feel like I’m carrying more of the load with the house and the kids. I know you have been busy at work. My work is busy too. Can we sit down, go through the chores, and talk about where you could help a little more? It would mean a lot to feel like I have a partner in this, and that you have me.
Nothing about the underlying problem changed. What changed is the chance of being heard. A wide criticism becomes a specific ask, and a specific ask is something a partner can say yes to. Some clients stop me and write the second version down.
Drop always and never
Sweeping words invite a defence of the whole relationship rather than an answer to the problem in front of you.
Name the specific problem
One thing that happened this week, not a verdict on who your partner is as a person.
Acknowledge their side
They are carrying something too. Saying so out loud costs nothing and changes the temperature of the room.
Say what you need
Your partner cannot infer it. Most people are guessing far more than their partner realises.
Make one clear request
Specific enough that they could actually say yes to it before the week is out.
Frame it as partnership
The two of you against the problem, rather than the two of you against each other.
Six things I believe about couples work, which not every therapist would sign.
Practical changes first, so you see something shift before the hard work starts. Direct, invested, and unwilling to only tell you what you want to hear.
Couples work is the closest thing therapy has to improv. Two people, several things happening at once, and you have to stay completely present and think on your feet. It is the part of the job I enjoy most, and the hour goes fast.
Love is a verb.
Love is not only something that happens to you, it is something you do. You choose to forgive when forgiving is hard. You choose the thing that is good for the marriage over the thing that would feel satisfying tonight. That willingness to keep acting is most of the difference between couples who last decades and couples who fall apart when the excitement wears off.
Early wins come before deep work.
I am not going to spend your first four sessions on childhood history while nothing at home improves. If you come three or four times and see no difference, you will reasonably decide this is not working and stop. So I go for the low-hanging fruit first, and once something shifts there is enough hope in the room to do the harder work.
A saved marriage is not the only good outcome.
Some couples rebuild. Some understand themselves, make a clear decision, and separate without wrecking each other. I have been on both sides of that in my own life, and I will not pretend only one of them counts.
You will not always like what I tell you.
I care, and I will work hard for you. I will also say the thing you might not want to hear, because you are not paying me to agree with you. If you want someone who only nods, I am the wrong therapist.
Your problem stays with me.
I am extremely determined about goals, and once I take you on, your situation becomes one of mine. It is not unusual for me to wake up thinking about a couple, go looking for a piece of research or a video that explains the thing I am trying to get across, and send it to them between sessions. You are not a file I close at the end of the hour.
The room has rules.
You can be angry, hurt or disappointed in my office and say so. You cannot yell at your partner, call them names, or spend the hour attacking them while I watch. If that is where things are, anger management work may need to come before couples therapy will get anywhere.
I have not only read about most of this. I have lived a fair amount of it.
An interfaith marriage, an adoption, and the grief that follows a divorce. Things clients bring her that she has been through herself.
Training tells you what usually happens. Having been through something yourself tells you how it actually feels at two in the morning. I have both, and I think the second one is why people relax in my office faster than they expect to.
Two faiths under one roof
My own marriage was an interfaith one. I remember the first few Decembers, working out what we did about Christmas and Hanukkah, whose family expected what, and which traditions were ours rather than inherited. We got there, and eventually we held both.
So when a couple sits in front of me negotiating a wedding ceremony, a baptism, a circumcision, religious schooling or how the children will be raised, I am not working from a textbook. I have worked with Christian and Muslim couples, Muslim and Hindu couples, and clients from Orthodox Jewish, Catholic, Hindu, Muslim and atheist backgrounds.
More than one way to build a family
I was adopted, and raised in an Eastern European Jewish family. As an adult I found my biological mother and built a relationship with her, so I now have ties to two family histories at once. I have never been able to assume there is only one shape a family comes in.
That matters for couples trying to build one. I have sat with people through long fertility journeys, through miscarriage, through the strain that clinic appointments and disappointment put on a relationship, and through the decision that a good life can still be had without children. The relationship is what I am protecting while all that is going on.
The end of a marriage, and the grief nobody names
I have counselled people through the death of a parent, a grandparent, a fiancé. But the grief I see most often in this practice is the one that follows a separation or a divorce, and it is the one people are least likely to call grief. Nobody sends a card. You are expected to be fine, or relieved, and often you are neither. That is real loss and it deserves the same room.
When a newsroom needs someone to explain what is happening between two people, they call.
Fourteen appearances across CBC, The Globe and Mail, Global News, Maclean’s, VICE and Storeys. Every one is live and linked.
You can read what I actually said rather than take my summary of it.
CBC News
COVID-19 lockdown responsible for major backlog in divorce proceedings, lawyers say
On what months of confinement did to marriages: the compounding stress, the loss of any escape from a fight, and the absence of the ordinary pleasures that usually break the tension between two people.
How CBC described me
“A registered psychotherapist who specializes in couples counselling.”
A national broadcaster describing my practice area in its own words, in print, and still online five years later.
The Globe and Mail
NationalTaking paternity leave can increase the chances of a relationship lasting
On why shared early childcare protects a relationship, and what happens to a couple when it is not shared.
Read ›“A Toronto-based marital counsellor and registered psychotherapist.”
The Globe and Mail
NationalHow to create a happy home when a blended family moves in together
On the infatuation phase of moving in together, and what blended families get wrong in the first year.
Read ›“Toronto marriage counsellor.”
Maclean’s
8 September 2013Love is a four-number word
On whether partners should hand over their phone passwords, and why everyone needs somewhere to vent that is not their spouse.
Read ›“Toronto-based therapist.”
Global News
2015 to 2017 · Print and broadcastFour appearances on relationships and everyday life
On secrets between partners, raising emotionally intelligent children, dating a colleague, and making resolutions last, the last a studio segment with host Susan Hay.
“Registered psychotherapist Tammy Laber.”
VICE
17 February 2020This Woman Says Debt Saved Her from Being Homeless
On the money anxieties people inherit from their parents, and how an allergy to debt gets passed down a family.
Read ›“A psychotherapist based in Toronto.”
Storeys
29 April 2022Markets and Marriages: how high housing prices impact divorce
On bidding wars, mortgage stress and what happens to a couple when the house becomes the argument.
Read ›“A registered psychotherapist who specializes in marriage counselling.”
I was also the relationship voice through the three-part Love in Small Spaces series, on couples sharing a few hundred square feet without losing their minds, and I have commented for Global News on subjects ranging from gym etiquette to oversharing on social media.
Do not take my word for any of this. Look it up.
Registered Psychotherapist, CRPO 002549, licensed for independent practice. Verifiable on the College register in about thirty seconds.
I have spent a lot of my life in universities, yet I do not speak in big words. Nobody was ever helped by a therapist they could not follow. Credentials still matter though, and mine should be checkable rather than taken on trust. Here is what I hold, and where you can confirm each one.
Registered Psychotherapist, CRPO 002549
College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario. In good standing, licensed for independent practice. Registered 14 April 2015, the month the College opened.
Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology, Yorkville University
Conferred 25 June 2012 at Fredericton, New Brunswick, in a programme recognized by the College for registration purposes.
Ontario Association of Mental Health Professionals
A member in good standing, and listed in the association’s public therapist directory. The certificate on my mantel still carries the association’s former name, the Ontario Association of Consultants, Counsellors, Psychometrists and Psychotherapists.
Draws on EFT, RLT, Gottman, Bader, Hendrix, CBT, DBT and IFS
My work is informed by Solution-Focused Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Relational Life Therapy, the Gottman approach, Ellyn Bader and Harville Hendrix, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Dialectical Behavioural Therapy and Internal Family Systems. I have completed training in these approaches rather than full certification programmes, and I would rather say so plainly.
Where else you can find me.
Six independent sources, none of them controlled by this website.
Every claim on this page can be checked somewhere that is not this website. That matters for you, and it is also how search engines and AI assistants confirm that a practitioner is who she says she is.
CRPO Public Register
Registration status and independent practice authorisation, held by the regulator.
VerifyOAMHP Directory
Ontario Association of Mental Health Professionals therapist listing.
ViewPsychology Today
Verified therapist profile with practice areas and fees.
ViewProfessional history across both careers.
ConnectYelp
Business listing for Tammy Laber Coaching and Counselling.
ViewPractice page, updates and media links.
View
What it costs, and what happens
with insurance.
- Session fee
- $180Per 60 minute session
- Length
- 60 minutes90 minutes by arrangement
- Format
- BothIn person or online by Zoom
- Receipts
- RP numberIncluded for your insurer
My receipts carry my name, address, phone number, my Registered Psychotherapist designation and my CRPO registration number, which is what most insurers ask for.
I have had clients reimbursed through plans with Sun Life, Green Shield, Blue Cross, Manulife and Equitable, and through a number of large employers, banks and school board benefit plans. That is not a promise about your plan. Whether yours reimburses depends on your employer and your policy, and some older benefit plans were never updated after Ontario regulated the profession, so it’s worth checking with your HR department or insurer before your first appointment. I ask for at least 24-hours notice to cancel or reschedule, otherwise the full fee applies.
Who I see, and where
I work mostly with couples, and I am a strong believer in premarital counselling for couples who are not in any trouble at all. Counselling works perfectly well as maintenance rather than rescue. I am also comfortable with the subjects people tend to skirt, including sex, and I will not be the one who gets embarrassed. I see adults only.
I also see individuals, and I still take career counselling clients, which draws directly on my years in business. I provide psychotherapy to clients in Ontario, and coaching can extend beyond Ontario.
Serving
In person from 36 Dingwall Avenue in Danforth Village, Toronto, close to Pape and the Danforth. Online by Zoom for clients anywhere in Ontario.
Thirty years in the same house, and
about fifty countries.
I have lived in the same Toronto house since 1993, a hundred-year-old workers’ cottage in what people now call Riverdale, which tells you something about how I feel about this neighbourhood.
I travel as much as I can manage and expect to reach around fifty countries by the end of this year. I scuba dive. I sing in a choir. I am a theatre buff, which is probably no surprise given where my first degree started, and I have a longstanding ambition to try a stand-up comedy set one day.
If you come to see me in person you will almost certainly meet Jacko, my Maine Coon cat, who is remarkably friendly and curious. It runs in the family!
Why They Recommend Tammy
Before you get in touch.
Are you registered, and how can I check?
Yes. I am a Registered Psychotherapist with the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario, registration number 002549, licensed for independent practice. You can look me up on the College public register rather than taking my word for it.
What is the difference between a psychotherapist and a counsellor?
In Ontario, Registered Psychotherapist is a protected title held by members of a regulated college, with continuing education and professional standards attached to it. Counsellor is not a protected title, which means anyone may use it. I am both a Registered Psychotherapist and a couples counsellor, and my receipts carry my registration number, which is usually what an insurer is looking for.
How long have you been practising?
I have worked with counselling clients since 2009 and completed my counselling graduate degree in 2012. Before that I spent about 25 years as a professional writer and communicator, and several years doing career and communications coaching, which is what led me into this work.
Do you work with children or teenagers?
No. I see adults, and my general lower limit is sixteen.
Send me a text and tell me
what is going on.
Your name, your number, and the kind of counselling you are looking for. I will call you back. I am usually reachable between eight in the morning and eight at night, and I will get back to you as soon as I am free.
If I do not pick up, it is because I am with a client, and that person has my full attention while they are in the room, exactly as you will when it is your turn.